Yesterday, I saw Toke Makinwa’s video where she talks about signs a woman is fed up with a relationship. I shared it with some friends and we laughed…a lot. “That was the longest 8 minutes of my life,” a friend wrote. We laughed over how it’s common sense. We laughed about her funny facial expressions. We laughed at how serious Nigerians are when critiquing those with “relationship permits” when they haven’t successfully hopped on the relationship train yet. Then things quietened and here’s my response to the viral video.
I’m not writing about walking away from your marriage, neither am I advocating giving up on a relationship that you and your spouse have agreed to mend. I’m reaching out to that lady sitting somewhere, typing away at her computer until she landed on my blog with the search term “Why am I still single?”
I’m writing to that lady who has thrown in every ingredient she has into the soup mix in faith, hoping for dinner to be set only to realize that the stove was never lit and would never be lit. I’m reaching out to the lady who has been praying dutifully for her relationship to blossom into peaches and lavender wedding cards, always experiencing highs and peaks of loving moments, yet has these nagging doubts about the legitimacy of his commitment.
And why would I be doing a post on the girl who walked way, you ask? It’s simple. I’m single. I walked away and I’m just fine. Coming to terms with my marital status happened over a long period of time; it wasn’t overnight. Continue reading
Happy New Month, folks! It’s no small feat to survive thirty days of hustling while retaining our sanity in this convoluted world. The Weekly Supper series is updated every Monday and if you like what you see (I’m sure you will, amen), please don’t forget to hit the subscribe button! Oh- and after you’re done do check out previous Weekly Supper Posts here. Don’t forget the awesome ♥♥book giveaway♥♥ going on and yes, I will ship to Nigeria if the winner resides there!
Do you ever feel handicapped by your imperfections in an ever changing world? Are you continuously obsessing over character flaws, having body image issues, and seething in misery until it has become your past time?
As a single female, I’m aware of the temptation to look good that we encounter on a daily basis even as we step out of the church building. As a youth teacher I’m aware of the thoughts that rummage young minds on a daily basis, the passion that burns so intently it threatens the very source of their being if their desires are not met. As a student, I’ve been fatigued by the burden of bearing the weight of parental and societal expectations academically and culturally. This knowledge has prevented me from camping with who view imperfection with disdain and ostracize those who seem “imperfect.”
Making poor choices as Christians is part of our human existence. Our imperfection is part of our fallibility as humans and the very thing that makes us aware of our vulnerability. It is a reminder of God’s sovereignty. Without our mistakes, the need for God in our lives will become very obscure. We’re bad decision-makers by nature because it is part of God’s design for humans to depend on Him for everything. Continue reading
I talk a lot and sometimes I get into trouble for it. A lot of trouble. Like the 30-day challenge that I got myself into after a recent banter with a close friend on Face Book. It started as a harmless tease but morphed into words sheathed with fitness-warrior-chants. The result: a 30-day weight loss challenge to see who loses 10-15lbs first. As a result, I’ve aptly named the challenge #JanToFit! (Follow on )
Now, I’ve always been the fittest in my family but these days the story is different. You see, life happened. Those of you living in America or other European countries can relate to the story of that hardworking student with two jobs, a campus ministry, praise team rehearsals etc. I caved into the world of processed and fast foods in no time.
The problem wasn’t my lack of knowledge, no, it was my false sense of security that I could get the weight off whenever I wanted! I even took personal fitness classes in college and was almost certified as a trainer. Well, the shocker came when I couldn’t fit into my college clothes anymore! Egbami. I wasn’t ready to re-stock my closet. Scratch that- I’m NOT ready to spend $$$ on clothes with the excuse of being too fat my clothes! Continue reading
For me, thanksgiving is the same every year. About a week before thanksgiving day, mom and I argue over thanksgiving meal selection, who’s going to prepare what, and who will do the shopping. I tutor 10th graders in Math to prepare them for college so I can always allude to “My hectic schedule” when the subject of cooking comes up.
In an African family, the lists of dos and don’ts of turkey roasting doesn’t matter. This year, mom made sure that the turkey was well washed, cut up, spiced with Maggi knorr and cubes, cayenne pepper/chili, cinnamon, garlic, parsley or basil leaves, and chopped bell peppers and onion. I also suggested cutting potatoes into cubes, mixing it with the spices, and coating the turkey with the mixture. The taste was heavenly- the turkey was juicy and the potatoes tasted like squash/sweet potatoes. You can either eat it as a side dish with your favorite food or as an appetizer. There’s the fried rice, efo riro, jollof, popular meals that are sure to grace any table set by an African.
But this isn’t all because that’s not what Thanksgiving is all about. To celebrate Thanksgiving this year, I am doing a book giveaway! Continue reading
Few months ago, there were bashful comments circulating the internet, obtuse comments even, aimed at Ese Walter for detailing her experience at the hands of an emotionally and psychologically abusive pastor (Yes, it IS abuse). Sure, she isn’t blame-free, but in a society with dogmatic beliefs on Christianity that deflects opposition, Ese has been required to wear a scarlet “A” as a symbol of adultery and affair…FOR LIFE!! She can’t comment on social ills, neither can she offer to be a shelter for those exposed to the harsh realities of life without getting reminders of her past. But she remains undaunted by the chatter and has moved on.
What pained me however, was the magisterial tone with which the message of grace and hope was preached. We preach and yell forgiveness into megaphones yet practice expulsion. In a society where we are already outcasts, are treated as lepers and scorned for our beliefs, we have turned the church into a “social” sowing ground where fellow outcasts aren’t welcome. Continue reading
This week’s Weekly Supper is coming to you a little bit late and I apologize for that. To make up for it, I’ve got a special treat for you today. It’s a power nugget that would give you a face lift if you’ve been having a not-so-bright day!
I got a lot of responses from last week’s supper, The Power in Sowing, and thought it best to follow up with a message that goes beyond sowing. A powerful message that not only teaches you one of the most powerful secrets to prosperity but opens your eyes to the ways of the spider and it’s mode of survival. A message that preaches hope when you’ve sown everything you have and there’s no harvest. I’ve got one word for you: Keep On Producing!
The bible says “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him” (James 1:5 KJV). There is a difference between knowing that you ought to sow, being diligent, and being SUPER productive with your seeds.
In this message, Bishop TD Jakes, a phenomenal North American preacher talks about the uniqueness of the spider and its contribution to the wisdom package. The spider does one thing consistently which makes it hard to destroy: the spider knows how to produce itself. As a result, to fully maximize the potential that God has put in each and every one of us, we must learn how to produce ourselves. That’s right, produce YOURSELF. Continue reading
Ever heard the saying: Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap? (Galatians 6:7) Many people use this verse as an extortion tool, a verse belted out into megaphones to pry the people’s wallets open. In the same vein, many people misunderstand it’s meaning, always cringing at the mention of “sowing seeds” convinced that it is a ploy to force their wallets open. However, there is more to this verse…there is power in sowing.
Last month, I made a big move. After three years (3yrs) of living as a free-spirited single lady free from weekly family chores, I decided to move back home with my parents. But with my move came so many changes. My church affiliation, my place in the worship team and the youth ministry, the students I mentored, a thriving campus ministry of which I’m a core member, my band members, my apartment and car, even a new job offer…I left all these behind.
I was already established. I felt empty and thought that I would never find people as cool as the folks I hung out with, nor could I find a church where the undiluted word of God was preached with great fervor. In short, I was starting over. Continue reading
It has been a very slow week for me but today is Friday, and what better way to end the work week than to have some good ole fun at the expense of little kids!
This past Halloween, Jimmy Kimmel, an American comedian/actor and host of Jimmy Kimmel Live, pulled a massive prank. He asked parents to pretend they ate all their kids’ Halloween candy, record their reaction and upload them on YouTube.
The reactions are of EPIC proportions, more so because I couldn’t imagine any Nigerian mother/father filming their tantrums without giving out our signature igbaju olooyi (A Slap that’ll send your head reeling). Enjoy!
Last week, I was supposed to update this blog with the second post in this new series but I couldn’t. My smartphone mysteriously disappeared while tutoring some students in a college readiness program. A few days before that, I was insulted by an HR professional I had contacted to inquire about job openings. To make matters worse, I remembered I had just completed an intense prayer and fasting program the week before. Now MY phone, MY smartphone mysteriously grew wings and went poof! I questioned God saying, “what have I done to deserve this?” I was distraught, and my mind wandered away from the victories I’d recorded for the whole month.
For the next few days I devoted myself to prayer points that reminded me of Nigerian churches:
“Oh Lord, pursue my attacker and repossess my belongings!”
“Oh Lord, suck the blood of my enemy dry because he has tormented my soul!”
“Oh Lord, every unspoken curse against my belongings begin to die!”
I PPRRAYYYEDD! My mind was wrapped up in my sense of loss. I felt violated, naked without my phone. Just the thought of someone thumbing through my personal information riled me up. I had just sent out a couple of job applications and was expecting feedback from prospective employers. How dare I lose my phone?! And how dare someone have the audacity to keep an item belonging to someone else?!